It's 29 days till my 18th Bday!!! I'm so excited. I've waited years for this. Impatiently. I'm not sure what I want to do first, activate Google adsense LOL. No I've got so much to do. I'm so behind. I got to get my drivers license, take the ACT or SAT, apply for college, even open a bank account. Still I got so much to look forward to. Fun stuff as well as work.
              But thank the lord I'm finally turning 18. I thought it'd never get here......
                                                                                                                                              INDICA

Yup \/

           Okay well, hellooOOO. Today's Friday. It feels like Monday. That's how much I've got done. For the next, what, forever, I've got to study. And out of all the times I've said that. This is serious. So I'm trying to force myself to study. This time I actually think it's gonna get done. I'm actually running out of time, options, and choices. So in the next 3-4 months of my life I've got to do a lot of things I don't want to do. I don't regret that, it's just a fact if I want to get where I want to get.
            It's not just studying. The list isn't actually that long; it's just the things on there are killers.
            So, peoples of this universe wish me best of luck. I have a long journey......
Yup  
\/

Hello! I keep trying to say good morning, when it's obviously in the afternoon. I don't have much to say today. My mind is actually kind of blank. Which is proving to be problematic.
               My FB page is going well. My mom gave it a shout out on her FB page so that helped. (She's pretty big on Youtube.) I keep thinking about my creative process. How much it is improving. About my emotional process. How much it is improving. I used to be embarrassed to show people emotional poetry. While it's an issue, and my poetry isn't overly emotional. I feel better about my emotions and about showing them. I like to help people and that helps. I hope my poetry helps them. All in all it just felt kind of embarrassing and now I don't feel that way.
              Well my mind is still kind of blank, so I think I'll dig out an old one and show them.
              Good bye for today.

Hello, I know I haven't been on here in a while. Not much has changed. I'm more serious than ever about going to college. Since I'm turning 18 in Dec. the pressure is on. Right now don't have an incredible amount of computer time anywhere. (Just when I get to barrow my parents.) We don't always know what the future brings. Right now that's stressful because I have a tendency to get off track. Yeah, I know. All 17 year olds do. But I think I'm worse than others.
                I've started  a facebook page to post my poetry on. Now the stress is on about that. Not really. But I don't want to disappoint.
                Anyway things aren't so bad now. I quit my horrible job; and I've finely mastered my anxiety attacks. Trust me there is nothing better than that. So when this over, I'll be grateful. There is so much to look forward to.
 

I feel like I'm getting back into my funk. A little more each day. I'm doing better and better. It's a gadual thing. Probably not noticed by most. But I've been studying just a little bit more, cleaning just a little bit more, and definately taking better care of myself. Time passes fast and I'm over the ten month mark. Soon I'll be gone. I honestly hope time goes fast. You shouldn't wish away time, but things will be better for me when I have more freedom. I am enjoying the time I have here, thankfully. I've made a new friend. I'm reading a new series of books. I've discovered wat field of architecture I'll probably specialize in. I still don't know what I want to do after college. I want to join a organization that helps people. I just don't know what kind. Well I've got quite a few more years to figure that out.To draw this to a conclusion I'm simply feeling better about myself. Feeling smarter. Reading more. And I hope you do the same.

I am being raised adjacent to an Amish community. Well they're not quite Amish but that's a story for another time. From an early age my parents choose to follow most of their traditions. Including only 8 years of schooling. Loving school as I do I found that tragic and asked to continue. That didn't happen. So here I am about two and a half years later trying to prepare myself to get a GED and go to college. Studying material for the SAT doesn't seem to be hard, but I've only done the first chapter or so how would I know. On the other hand the GED material is boring, tedious, and aggrevatingly planned. I mean really, they're trying to educate people who for the most part didn't have motivation in the first place. On this journey of learning I have many miles of space left to travel. But in the end I think it'll OK. I'm a smart person. And I finally think I've found my way out of the laborinth I was wandering. It's not about all those people getting you down. It's about you. Your life. Right now they may be controlling large pieces of it, but you can still find joy. You can still make the most of what you have. Relish that fact that someday you can do whatever you want. Make that happen!!!

Daily Blog?

I used to only use this blog to publish my poetry, but I think it would be fun to write a daily blog. Social media can be good creative outets. I find them inspiring 'cause of the feedback. I find it very motivational when people give me feedback. For a long time now I've found it hard to write. I think that's because of the state my life is in. Not too much fun, not too much excitement. Not much of anything for that matter. I used to watch TV shows for hours. Lie in bed and not do much of anyting. I wanted to go to college so bad. I wanted to do things and go places, but I wasn't allowed. Recently some very good things have happened to me. I now have a reason to hope. And I've started to draw and do way more stuff. Things aren't peachy, but they're way better. /